Where Do I Belong?

I am nothing special and that’s for sure. I am a common man with common morals and common goals. I have a regular job, earn a regular income and live in a regular house. Does this mean that I belong with the common folks? At my age, people might say that I’m boring and I don’t have fun, but I guess we can all give our own definition of what fun is. For me, it’s sitting at home reading a novel, sitting by the television, or simply testing my logic by building a puzzle, playing chess or filling in the latest crosswords in the newspaper. Does this mean that I belong with the nerds?

I spend my weekends parading the malls and shopping as if I have an ounce of space in my wardrobe.  Does this mean that I belong with the shopaholics? I guess I should introduce myself as a nerd, shopaholic, and part of the common folk. What does that even mean I begin to ask myself? What does it mean to belong? To belong is to feel part of a group, "acceptance" by others. The only obstacle is that people are willing to compromise who they are to feel like they belong to something. People dress, act, talk, listen to certain music and perform certain rituals that they don’t even like just to feel like they belong to a group, even though all those things don't guarantee acceptance.     

So why should a person change themselves just to be part of a group that doesn’t accept you for who you are. They only accept you for the ‘you’ that they want you to be, so that in itself is an injustice to yourself. Thomas Stephen Szasz once said “People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself, but the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.” I then ask myself, where do I belong? When I sit and play games with my family and we all laugh, I feel like I belong there. When I teach children at school and they look up at me and smile, I feel like I belong there. When I’m sitting in a lecture hall and I lift my hand to give the correct answer, I feel like I belong there. As I sit with my friends having pancakes and laughing at our silly moments, I feel like I belong there. Is it possible to belong in so many places? Am I a lonely soul drifting the earth till I die?

As I walk around from place to place I look at all the people and they all seem to either belong to something or belong to someone and then there’s just me. I then ask myself what right do I have to belong here? Why me? Why here? Why now? The questions keep on piling and then out of the blue the answers start to come. I belong here in this country, in this universe because God wanted it to be that way. It is one of the biggest gifts that God has given me, the gift of being able to belong to something much bigger, even though all our ideas, opinions and values are not the same. I might be alone in my quests but I’m never alone in my community. There are people that I can depend on friends, family, colleagues, neighbours and strangers.

Being with different people and going through many hardships I have learnt that I have equal rights as anyone to be in this world. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Your life matters even if you don’t believe that right now but someday you will realize that you are worth so much! Imagine, if you will, a life where you had no one else to depend on; what if there were no family, no friends and no place to call home? How would you deal with life if you were spending it alone with no comfort? Would you be different from yourselves today? The notion of belonging is, and always has been fundamental for human survival as this experience forges our individual human identity and allows it to develop. According to American actor, Pearl Bailey, "You cannot belong to anyone else, until you belong to yourself.” Stay Strong, Stay positive and most importantly, remember that your life matters!