I am nothing
special and that’s for sure. I am a common man with common morals and common
goals. I have a regular job, earn a regular income and live in a regular house.
Does this mean that I belong with the common folks? At my age, people
might say that I’m boring and I don’t have fun, but I guess we can all give our
own definition of what fun is. For me, it’s sitting at home reading a novel,
sitting by the television, or simply testing my logic by building a puzzle,
playing chess or filling in the latest crosswords in the newspaper. Does this
mean that I belong with the nerds?
I spend my weekends parading the malls and
shopping as if I have an ounce of space in my wardrobe. Does this mean that I belong with the
shopaholics? I guess I should introduce
myself as a nerd, shopaholic, and part of the common folk. What does that even
mean I begin to ask myself? What does it mean to belong? To belong is to feel part of a group,
"acceptance" by others. The only obstacle is that people are willing
to compromise who they are to feel like they belong to something. People dress,
act, talk, listen to certain music and perform certain rituals that
they don’t even like just to feel like they belong to a group, even though
all those things don't guarantee acceptance.
So why should a person change themselves just
to be part of a group that doesn’t accept you for who you are. They only accept
you for the ‘you’ that they want you to be, so that in itself is an injustice
to yourself. Thomas Stephen Szasz once said “People often say that this or that
person has not yet found himself, but the self is not something one finds, it
is something one creates.” I then ask myself, where do I belong? When I
sit and play games with my family and we all laugh, I feel like I belong there.
When I teach children at school and they look up at me and smile, I feel like I
belong there. When I’m sitting in a lecture hall and I lift my hand to give the
correct answer, I feel like I belong there. As I sit with my friends having
pancakes and laughing at our silly moments, I feel like I belong there. Is it
possible to belong in so many places? Am I a lonely soul drifting the earth
till I die?
As I walk around from place to place I look at
all the people and they all seem to either belong to something or belong to
someone and then there’s just me. I then ask myself what right do I have to belong here? Why me? Why here?
Why now? The questions keep on piling and then out of the blue the answers
start to come. I belong here in this country, in this universe because God
wanted it to be that way. It is one of the biggest gifts that God has
given me, the gift of being able to belong to something much bigger, even
though all our ideas, opinions and values are not the same. I might be alone in
my quests but I’m never alone in my community. There are people that I can
depend on friends, family, colleagues, neighbours and strangers.
Being with different people and going
through many hardships I have learnt that I have equal rights as anyone to be
in this world. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Your life matters even if
you don’t believe that right now but someday you will realize that you are
worth so much! Imagine, if you will, a life where you had no
one else to depend on; what if there were no family, no friends and no place to
call home? How would you deal with life if you were spending it alone with no
comfort? Would you be different from yourselves today? The notion of belonging
is, and always has been fundamental for human survival as this experience
forges our individual human identity and allows it to develop. According to
American actor, Pearl Bailey, "You cannot belong to anyone else, until you
belong to yourself.” Stay Strong, Stay positive and most importantly, remember
that your life matters!
💙
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